Saturday, 31 August 2013

Cute Little Story - a romantic 'short' story

Genre: Romance
I personally find myself 'bad' at writing romantic stories as I haven't explored much into it (maybe, I'm not that romantic). Still, I pushed myself and came up with a couple of romantic stories and this one, Cute Little Story, is one of the so called 'romantic' stories written by me. Do read this story and share your views in the comment box (you may find the story cliched, funny, kiddish or even good. Whatever it is just let me know so that I could refine my writing skills in the near future). 

Conversations in blue belong to the male character
Conversations in red belong to the female character

Cute Little Story

I saw her on a breezy evening while I was having my coffee at the famous coffee shop that lay opposite to Westside bus stop. While I was waiting for my coffee, I looked at the bus stop and she stood there in her pink churidhar waiting for the bus. Her hair flowed in waves and she adjusted it as it streaked her face. I gave a cold stare at her luscious and glossy lips. Her beautiful smile matched her captivating eyes. Her fair complexion synced her dress color. She appeared a perfect woman.

My coffee arrived a few minutes later. I continued to stare at her while having my coffee. Later, she noticed me staring at her. I put down the cup and took off my coolers. She looked at me. I looked to my left and to my right, and then looked at her. She was looking at me as there was no one except me at the coffee shop. She gave me a smile. I reached my cup and sipped some coffee, and then looked at her. Her waving hair and her alluring eyes kept my focus on her.

She then stepped out from the bus stop, crossed the road, and walked towards the coffee shop. I started to feel a bit anxious. A few seconds later, she was sitting before me, at the same table. I felt so jumpy that moment until I heard her speak.

‘Hi Nikhil, what have you been up to all these years?’
‘Excuse me, how do you know my name?’
‘You hardly recognize me, don’t you?’

I hardly remember how I reacted that moment, but I still remember looking at her eyes while she spoke. My God, they were stunning. I wasn’t able to recognize her, but she knows my name. I sat there confused looking at her beautiful face.

‘Hello, (she waved her hand in front of my face)
Nikhil, why are you staring at me like that?’
‘Hey, I’m sorry. I am not able to recognize you.’
‘You are kidding. Nikhil, it’s me Shalini.’

I felt very much excited that moment. It was Shalini who was seated before me. I then recognized her. She appeared totally different than the Shalini I knew. I was then able to figure out the same old dimple that she gets on her cheeks when she smiles. Shalini, I met her when I was nine years old.

Our meeting was a perky one. I was in my fifth grade and Shalini was a newly joined student in my school. She was put in my class by the headmistress, and she was made seated next to my desk. She gave me a smile the moment she looked at me while she sat at her desk. I blinked my eyes and returned her a cute little smile. From that moment, I was attracted to her.

Something bizarre happened one fine day, and that day was a couple of months after Shalini joined my school. I bought a red rose before going to my school and hid it inside my History book. The school bell rang and the classes began. The History class came second and it was followed by a ten minutes break. During the break time, I took the flower and went to Shalini. She looked at me holding the flower. She stood up from her desk. I gave the flower to her and she took it in her hand. I said ‘I love you, Shalini’. She said nothing but gave me a kiss in my right cheek. I stood there embarrassed, not because she gave me a kiss; it was because the headmistress, who stood there, saw the whole scene. Later, both of our parents were called and I was sent to a different section. After that, we hardly spoke with each other.

That was my cute little love story. Even though Shalini graduated along with me from the same school, we never spoke with each other. Later, I tried to get in touch with her many times, but nothing favored my way. She was sent to America to pursue her under graduation. My hopes shattered and I moved on with my life.

As I recollected the story, I saw Shalini having her coffee sitting before me at the coffee shop.

‘I don’t believe it! Are you Shalini?
Oh my God! You are completely changed.’
‘Oh! Is that so?’
‘You look gorgeous. I mean… never mind.
 I’ll stick to the truth.
You are beautiful.’
‘Ah! Thank you.
So, how’s life treating you?’
‘Well, it’s quite good.
Hey, you are supposed to be in America, right?’
‘Yeah, but right now my parents are living there.
My grandfather passed away recently,
So I’m here to take care of my grandmother.’
‘I’m sorry.’
‘Hey, don’t feel sorry. It happened long back.
So, Nikhil, what do you do for a living?’
‘Well, I work as a photojournalist for leading news daily.
What about you?’
‘I work in a software firm which is nearby.
Oh shit! The bus has arrived. I have to go now.’
‘Hey, when’s our next meeting?’
‘(After giving her number) Text me your number and I’ll tell you the time.

I waved her goodbye as she swiftly crossed the road and got into the bus. It was a blissful moment to meet a girl with whom you happen to get the first kiss. And, thank god, she wasn’t married. I still have to figure out whether she has any boyfriends, before I could proceed further.

I reached my office, threw my bags aside, and sat down with my cell phone. I sent her a text message.

Hi, this is Nikhil.

I waited for some time, but she did not respond me. I then started my work at the office. During my lunch hour, I got back a reply from her, and the conversation started.

Hey, sup?
I just had my lunch. How did your day go?
Not bad. I am thinking of leaving home early today.
What’s special?
Nothing! I just want to buy some groceries.
Okay. Hey, where do you live?
James Street.
James Street? That’s very near to my office.
Hey, how about lunch this Saturday?
Sounds good!
A-Z Restaurant at 1.30, alright?

I was just eager to see her once again. James Street was few yards away from my office and there was only one supermarket in that place. I decided to reach the supermarket before she gets there. I went there and waited for almost an hour for her. I managed the clumsy feeling I had when the store manager kept noticing me. 

There she was, exactly after one hour fifteen minutes of my arrival. It was her eyes that took me there. I felt like looking at it again and again. I wanted to make the meeting accidental, so I pretended to act in a normal way. Somehow, I managed to get her attention.

‘Hey, what a pleasant surprise!’
‘Hey, Nikhil, what are you doing here?’
‘Just buying some groceries.’
‘Really? I don’t think so.’
‘Okay, let me stick with the truth.
It’s your eyes, Shalini. I got very much attracted to you.’
‘That’s so sweet, Nikhil!
Okay, come with me. I’ll take you to a place after we shop here.’
‘Ssh! No questions.’

From the supermarket, she took me to a restaurant. It was dark themed and looked absolutely stunning. She said it was her favorite destination. She had a really good taste in selecting places. I started to like her a lot. We sat at the corner table and she ordered some snacks.  

‘Nikhil, I did not go to America.’
‘What are you saying?
You were supposed to go there, right?’
‘Yes, but things changed after my parents died in a plane crash.’
‘Oh my god!’
‘They were about to take me to America.
Unfortunately, they couldn’t make it happen.
From then, I am living with my grandparents.’
‘I’m so sorry, Shalini.’
‘That’s okay, Nikhil. (Sobbing) I just wanted to share this.
Sorry, I lied to you before about my parents.’
‘Hey, look at me.
You don’t need to feel sorry for anything, okay?’
‘Huh! (Smiling) Okay.’
‘See, the smile brings a great cheer to your face.
And, you look more beautiful if you cry.’
‘Ha…ha, you are crazy.’

We had our snacks and then I cheered her up with my jokes. She went home with a cheerful smile on her face. I felt delighted with her company.

I then started to feel like how I felt when she kissed me when I was a kid. The whole night I kept thinking about her. Later, I took my cell phone and dialed her number. It was twelve o’clock in the midnight. She picked it up. Her voice sounded very soft. She was in a half sleep.

‘You should be sleeping at this time.’
‘Sorry to disturb you. I feel like seeing you once again. Now.’
‘Are you kidding me? It’s the middle of night.’
‘I know. Come to the park at the corner of your street.
I will be there in fifteen minutes.’
‘Nikhil, you are crazy.’

I reached the park exactly in ten minutes. She came there in her night dress wiping her eyes. I was flattened by seeing her beautiful face in the moonlight.

‘What’s so important?’ We should have talked tomorrow.’
‘Shalini, I… I think I am falling for you.’
‘So? What do you mean by that?’
‘You aren’t proposing, are you?’
‘I think so, yes.’
‘Hmm, there is a temple at the fourth avenue.
Come there exactly by seven o’clock in the morning.’
‘Come there and we’ll sort this out. I’m leaving now.
Go home and get some sleep. You look tired.’

I was up till two o’clock, and then I wasn’t able to control myself. I slept off. After a deep sleep of four hours, I woke up and freshened myself, and went to the temple at the mentioned time. She was there waiting for me at the entrance. She took me inside. We sat there in the temple talking to each other.

‘Happy Birthday, Nikhil.’
‘My God! How did you know that?’
‘I know everything about you, Nikhil.
I have been watching you since three years.’

Her words turned out to be a sheer surprise to me. I sat there looking at her face. She put a thick streak of ‘vibudhi’ (holy ash) on my forehead.

‘You remember the accident you had three years ago?’
‘Yeah, the car accident right after I got into my job.’
‘I saw you there, at the hospital, after many years.
 It was me who gave you blood.
From then, I started to know more about you.
 I followed you and collected details about you.
It took me two long years to convince myself that you are the one for me.
Yes, I fell in love with you.’
‘What did you just say?’
‘I fell in love with you, Nikhil. I love you.
After our high school, it took me so long to find you.
But, once I saw you at the hospital, I was delighted.
Grandfather’s death and relocation delayed me to get to you.
But now, I am not going to leave you.’
‘Am I dreaming or what?’
(Slapping hard) ‘Now?’
‘Ouch! It hurts, Shalini. Okay, I am not dreaming.’
‘Okay, give me your mom’s number.
I’ll talk with her. Let’s get married as soon as possible.’
‘Hey, just chill. Don’t hurry things.’
‘No, Nikhil, I don’t want to waste time.
Let’s get married soon.’
‘Wait, how did you wait for two long years?
What if I had a girlfriend?’
‘I was sure that you won’t fall in love with a girl.’
‘Remember the day I kissed you?’
‘How could I forget that?
Still, you didn’t answer my question.’
‘I was sure that if you come across any girl, you’ll surely think of me.
Then, you’ll surely find me.
But I found you before you did.’
‘Just tell me how to react. I am dumbstruck.’
‘Look at you. You didn’t sleep properly, right?’
‘You are too smart.’  
‘You must have known this the day I kissed you in front of headmistress.’
‘So, you knew she stood there, right?’
‘Yes, but, I felt like kissing you.
(Smiling) You were so cute.’  

She took my right hand and put it on her shoulder. She then rested her head on my chest. I touched her soft hair that streaked on her cheeks and felt it. 

She held my hand tightly while we walked out of the temple.

‘Let’s go home. I’ll introduce you to my mom.
She will be surely thrilled to meet you.’
‘I’m excited! Let’s go.
Hey, did you forget to say something?’
‘I proposed to you, but you didn’t say anything.’
‘I did tell you.’
‘When I was nine years old.’

Written by Ashwin Kumar


  1. Hari OM
    Hey Aswhin - gotta tell ya, romance is not my thing for reading either, but you added in that little frisson of mystery and possible stalker issues with the girl which caught my attention - for my side, I think that might have been a more interesting tack... but maybe that's for a longer tale?

    I commend you on seeking to stretch your writing base and this is a good attempt! YAM xx

    1. It's just that i tried to write a simple n plain love story without overdosing it with romance. Anyways, i'm glad that you shared your view abt the story.
      Thanks for reading :)

  2. ah now don't tell me you aren't that romantic, Ashwin.. this one is really sweet.. simple puppy love turns into a serious one... sweet read. :)

    1. wow! i was expecting your comment... i'm glad that you liked it :)

  3. This is lovely. Thank you for writing it.

  4. I found it sweet, but a little strange. Perhaps because there were small gaps here and there. There's definitely potential for the story. If your thing isn't romance feel free to mix in horror, suspense or humor into it. It's a cute story though. :D

  5. Well I was so thoroughly entertained, not only with piece and sentimentality but mainly by the ensuing comments. I want to first applaud you for taking a risk and stepping out of your comfort zone. Bravo this is hard to do. I would recommend intensity, subtle sensuality and try not to reuse vocabulary over and over if you talking about romance and definitely if you’re going add horror twists and/or even dark humor…This will give your characters passion, depth and believability. It is important to have a range in your vocabulary. Play with different words with the same meaning and remove redundancy. This will give your piece an appearance of grasping literary range. Just remember a thesaurus is a beautiful thing and keep up loving what you do!

    1. Thanks for the suggestion, Diana. I'll start implementing things (avoid reusing the vocabulary) in action from my next writing :)
      Thanks for reading.

  6. sorry but i couldn't resist myself from asking this, "Is this your real story?"
    coz it all went really well as if you experienced it all :p

    1. haha.. no Arish. everything written here is purely fictional :P

  7. very cute story... enjoyed every bit of it...

  8. Ashwin,

    From that moment i was attracted to her --> enti in 5th standard lo ne na ???

    oye 5th lone rose i love u and kiss ah ??? ekkuva imagination bidda ;-)

    very obvious action of guys ;-) I still have to figure out whether she has any boyfriends, before I could proceed further.

    The color diff is awesome i can neatly gell up the converstion like ho said what ...

    baapre eh cute little love story lo kooda twist like shalini was following nikhil.. Nikhil the lucky trap ;-)

    Climax diaogues adhirindhi baboi !!! Loved it ..

    Its so so cute,

    Ur fan,
    Rek :-)

    1. haha, that's what i call 'puppy love'...

      "I still have to figure out whether she has any boyfriends, before I could proceed further".,
      -> that's obvious right? boyfriends unde ammayi venakala velli enti laabam.. :P

      thanks for reading and sharing your valuable comment ;)